How Does Your Money Talk to You?

How does your money talk to you? Bob Dylan says: "Money doesn't talk - it screams." Like sex in the 50s or family abuse secrets in the 70s, the subject of money is taboo.  Sshh... Don't talk about your money!!

We don't talk about how much money we make, whether we can pay our bills or not, about the financial stress or hardship we're experiencing. It's embarrassing and we think we're alone, but we're not. There's a saying from the field of psychology, that we're only as sick as the secrets we keep. Money is the last taboo and we need to share our money truths to feel better and move forward.

See if you relate to any of these thoughts or beliefs about money that Louse Hay discusses in her article, "Are You Friends With Your Money?"

* I can't save money

* I don't earn enough

* My credit rating is bad

* Why does everyone else have money?

* Bankruptcy is around the corner

Notice these are all fear based thoughts about money. Because of the economy there's been a considerable fear and negativity around our money. This is actually good if we take steps and not let the fear overwhelm our ability to take action, work diligently to be real about what's going on and take our power back.

The first step out of money fear is to break denial and tell the truth to yourself and your spouse. Make a list of all the money you owe and the money coming in. Create an action plan and look at your list every day while taking daily small incremental steps - pay $10.00 on PGE, talk to the bank, again, send out 10 resumes. Staying on track with an action plan will help you feel more in control.

Financial freedom takes work. You start where you are. It's ok. You're not alone. Tell the truth, make a list, create a plan, take daily small steps, stay conscious of your spending, and don't forget to dream and envision what you want. We need to focus more on where we're going than where we've been or what we've lost. The American Dream isn't dead, but it's been tarnished. It's up to us to shine it up again.

Resuscitate the American Dream with Hope, Change & Personal Responsibility

Resuscitate the American Dream with hope, change and personal responsibility says Suze Orman in her newest book, The Money Class. The American Dream our parents embraced was one of living BELOW their means. This is a lesson we lost track of in the obsession for MORE that advertisers promoted and we indebted ourselves to (in oh so many Visa and MasterCard ways).

We need to not only rescue the American Dream as Suze says, but resuscitate it with the old virtues of hard work and sacrifice. Boring, and so not exciting as the lifestyles of the Kardashian's or Jersey Shores, but realistic.

Suze says, and I agree, that we must move beyond materialism – an empty value if there ever was one – to authentic happiness. But we Americans are programmed to believe that more money equals happiness. This is an illusion that lottery winners, for example, often realize too late. (Most are bankrupt or broke within 5 years)

I have a two-part question I ask at Money Workshops and trainings that comes from David Krueger’s book The Secret Language of Money.

1)    My current annual income is $__________________.

2)    In order to insure happiness and contentment financially, with no more money problems and worries, my annual income would need to be ______________________.

Most people answer #2 as being about twice the amount of #1. For example if #1 = $50,000, then to insure happiness I’d need to make $100,000. But once a financial goal is reached, what do we do? Set another goal and it’s often about twice the size of the first. When do we get to be happy and have financial peace?  

Let's create a new American Dream by educating ourselves about money and prioritizing what is most important and what we value. And, by the way,  a 2010 survey Suze cites by Charles Schwab & Co. says 75% of respondents understand that to create a new American dream, it takes hope, change and personal responsibility!!  That's true financial peace.

The Financial Responsibility of the 99%: Time to Put Your Big Boy & Girl Money Pants On!

There is a shared responsibility for the financial condition of the world. The 1% need to share their money more equitably. The 99% need to educate themselves about money and take their power back, or perhaps develop a sense of financial power for the first time. There’s something I realized this year and that’s how ignorant most of us are about our relationship with money. I came to this ah-ha while going through a five month training to become a Certified Money Coach.

Now that I can see more clearly, because my financial blinders have been partially removed, I get how little the collective us really understands about money. What does money really mean to you? Fill in this blank. To me money means________.*  Most people say freedom or security. I like to add FUN. As a therapist/coach/business owner I’ve been interested in making more money, and read at least 50 books about money – how to make it, and make more of it, keep it, save it and manage it.  But there's a deeper meaning to money that remains hidden for most of us.

The anger that the 99% feel toward the wealthy 1% can be a positive anger if it gets channeled in healthy ways. Yes, legislation that favors the 1% disproportionately needs to be changed. But, the 99% also need to take financial responsibility for their money ignorance and lack of power. We need to educate ourselves and there’s no excuse not to because the information is available. In the last ten years, not only do we have books available about the nuts & bolts of money (budgets, making more $$, etc), but most importantly how to change our emotional relationship with money. That’s where the real juice is.

I gave a presentation about Turning Financial Stress into Freedom to a group of multi-level marketers last week. It was really fun. These are folks that still believe in the American Dream and who are hard workers, and goal and success oriented. But, they will only be able to achieve their financial dreams if they understand and begin to transform their understanding of how they emotionally react and respond to money.

Here are 3 things I shared with them that may help you:

1) Raise your money consciousness by knowing how much money YOU need (not your parents, your spouse, your kids, your best friend) to make you happy. Write down that number________.

Research shows most believe that to be between $50-70K a year.

2) What is your earliest money memory?** __________ How does that memory affect your adult relationship with money today?

One woman at the talk shared that as a child she would ask her parents for money and they always gave it to her. Now, as a sales person she has no problem asking for the sale or the check.

3) How did your parents feel, talk about or behave with money? How do the thoughts, feelings & beliefs you developed in your family affect you today? "Your relationship with money is not just about money, it's about everything. Everything you eat, drink, fear & buy." David Krueger

*David Krueger The Secret Language of Money ** Deborah Price Money Magic

Financial Inequality & the 1% - Where Did All the Money Go?

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...," wrote Charles Dickens in the 1800s. The same could be said now. Apparently for the top 1% of America it's the best of times. One of my questions since the crash of 2008 has been "Where has all the money gone?" According to the Congressional Budget Office the top 1% of U.S. households almost tripled their after-tax income from 1979 to 2007. For us middle class folks, after-tax income grew 40% and the lower end of the economic scale increased also, but only by 18%.(Modesto Bee 10-27-11 Rich getting richer more quickly)

But let's wait a minute. Hasn't wealth in America (& the world) always been unequally distributed? Yes and let's start by looking at what the definition of 1% really consists of.  First, according to Joyce Apleby, emeritus professor of history at UCLA, there's income and there's wealth. To be a one-percenter you have to earn more than $700,000 a year (income) and have assets (wealth) of more than $9 million.

Ok, now we understand the basics of 1% economics. What's the economic truth for the rest of us? Have we middle class Americans been operating from an illusion that we could become rich? Yes and no. "From 1776 to the present, the bottom 60% of the U.S. population has never had more than 11% of the country's wealth." Hmm...Of course if you've done the math this 60% doesn't account for 39% of us.

Back to the question of, "Where did all the money go?" Well, well we know the banks got a lot of money. The investment bankers and hedge fund guys that is. But, I don't really think there's a simple answer to this question. We have a dream in America that hard work, luck and opportunity opens the door to fortune. That dream is a good one because it creates HOPE and in every generation the dream becomes true for a few. This "worst of times" economic recession is a wake-up call to look at the economic inequalities that have always been present, for the 99% to to keep the hope, the hard work and to hold the 1% accountable to a financially more equitable system for all.