Have Fun: Identify Your Money Type & Break Through Money Barriers

Looking at my money could be fun? Ugh is what most of us think. Money is one of those subjects we try to avoid. After all it's uncomfortable to think about how much we owe, or how little our next pay check will be. But avoidance doesn't solve our money challenges and believe me, both personally and as a Certified Money Coach, we ALL have money challenges. This is why it makes good sense to have expert help for women in business.

It doesn't have to be scary learning about our relationship with money. It can be FUN to look at our strengths and challenges by getting to know our Money Types.

For example:  Are you the type who is happy-go-lucky most of the time, but avoidant when it comes to money? You may be an Innocent. Or, are you financially successful, goal driven but a bit of a rescuer? Ah...The focused Warrior is a great worker to have on your side. Or, perhaps you know someone who is self-sacrificing, long-suffering and may give money but with strings attached? I relate to part of this archetype which is the Martyr who also tends to overwork. The clue for me that I'm slipping into my Martyr is feeling resentful. Then I know to pay attention and take a break

By taking the quick and easy Money Type Quiz you'll discover which of the 8 money or archetypes are showing up in your relationship with money. Oh, you didn't know you have a relationship with money? Well, we do and money affects everything in our lives. David Krueger, author of The Secret Language of Money says, "Money is more than just money. It's about everything. Everything we eat, drink, fear and buy; everything."

What we don't know that we don't know about money we can get us into trouble - think credit card debt, foreclosures, short-sales. Knowledge about how we think, feel and behave with money helps to keep us safe, plan for our future, have fun and create financial freedom as we feel more in control of our money.  

Take the Complimentary Money Quiz and receive a FREE 15 minute phone or Skype Consult with Lynn personally to go over the results. I guarantee you'll learn something important about you and your money!!

(*Money Types by Deborah Price - The Money Coaching Institute and used with permission)

How Does Your Money Talk to You?

How does your money talk to you? Bob Dylan says: "Money doesn't talk - it screams." Like sex in the 50s or family abuse secrets in the 70s, the subject of money is taboo.  Sshh... Don't talk about your money!!

We don't talk about how much money we make, whether we can pay our bills or not, about the financial stress or hardship we're experiencing. It's embarrassing and we think we're alone, but we're not. There's a saying from the field of psychology, that we're only as sick as the secrets we keep. Money is the last taboo and we need to share our money truths to feel better and move forward.

See if you relate to any of these thoughts or beliefs about money that Louse Hay discusses in her article, "Are You Friends With Your Money?"

* I can't save money

* I don't earn enough

* My credit rating is bad

* Why does everyone else have money?

* Bankruptcy is around the corner

Notice these are all fear based thoughts about money. Because of the economy there's been a considerable fear and negativity around our money. This is actually good if we take steps and not let the fear overwhelm our ability to take action, work diligently to be real about what's going on and take our power back.

The first step out of money fear is to break denial and tell the truth to yourself and your spouse. Make a list of all the money you owe and the money coming in. Create an action plan and look at your list every day while taking daily small incremental steps - pay $10.00 on PGE, talk to the bank, again, send out 10 resumes. Staying on track with an action plan will help you feel more in control.

Financial freedom takes work. You start where you are. It's ok. You're not alone. Tell the truth, make a list, create a plan, take daily small steps, stay conscious of your spending, and don't forget to dream and envision what you want. We need to focus more on where we're going than where we've been or what we've lost. The American Dream isn't dead, but it's been tarnished. It's up to us to shine it up again.

Money Stress: 3 Tips to Feel Better

What’s the top reason for divorce? Money problems. And, money stress, is the number 1 stressor for 80% of Americans. Symptoms include:

Headaches, depression, heart attacks, muscle tension and back pain and ulcers and digestive problems.  Notfun.

But what exactly is stressing you about your money situation? Pick your top stressor:  Debt, lack of income, not saving enough, fights with your partner, just not knowing where to begin?

Tip 1: Talk About Money

Especially for women, talking about what’s really going on lightens the load and makes you realize you’re not alone.  As I give presentations about money to women in business I hear over and over about the struggles with money. Until we talk about what’s going on we FEEL we’re the only one.  Find a friend or family member to confide in. If there isn’t one available, I offer a FREE 15 minute consult (LINK HERE209 492-8745 or email me lynntelfordsahl@gmail.com)

Stress Busting Breakthrough Tip:

Tip 2: BREATHE  I know, I know. Breathing won’t CHANGE your money situation, but when the body relaxes the mind relaxes and solutions become more clear. 

Here’s How:  Exhale first. Breathe in the to the count of 6, hold for a moment and exhale to the count of 6. Take 10 breaths at least 3 x a day.  I’ve taught breathing as stress reduction for over 20 years and it’s the #1 most effective tip. It’s FREE, can be done anytime, anywhere.

Tip 3:  Create a Plan:  You have to start somewhere. Get the bill folder out, the credit card slips. Tally up what you owe.  Now you know. It may not be pretty, but not knowing often creates more anxiety. Next step? Figure out what you can pay weekly or monthly – better to pay something than nothing.  LearnVest.com is a terrific website for financial help. Feel a little better?

Excuses, Excuses: 3 Reasons Why Women in Business Are Still Broke

Excuses, excuses.  There are reasons why you're still broke. Do you treat money with the respect it deserves? Perhaps you ignore your money (or should I say the balance in your checking account) except when you need to buy that pair of shoes on sale. Or, you live from pay-check to pay check, hoping you’ll make it to the end of the month, but never quite sure. Anxiety provoking? Yes. On one side of the money coin are those that aren't making enough money and struggle. But, I hear from women all the time on the other side of the NO Respect coin. They make plenty of money, but don’t know where it goes or feel out of control because they're not managing it well.

First Excuse: Not saving enough. This is the #1 suggestion in Money Magazine’s July 2012 article “101 Ways to Build Wealth” – instead of 10% of your pay, start saving 15% - boosts your pre-retirement income from 57% to 69% and that’s huge. Retirement comes faster than you can imagine!

Excuse #2:  Women Spend on Piddly Things: Women spend on beauty products, shoes, purses – things that don’t last and don’t add real value to their wealth. LearnVest says “spending on a vacation or a clothing item that revolutionizes your wardrobe are totally worthwhile and prioritize your spending.”    *hyperlink and hyperlink back to one of my blogs)

Excuse #3:  It's My Parents Fault: Yes, our parents spending, saving or earning habits affect how we feel and think about money. Are you frugal to the point it hurts? Or are you an avoider like your mom was? Or a bit of a tyrant with others as your dad could be around bill paying time?  Becoming aware of how our parents money habits affects ours starts the process of unhooking and reclaiming our own responsible relationship with our money. Are you ready to give up your excuses? Money is not important for the paper or coin it is – it’s important for the choices it gives us. Do you ever look in the mirror and wonder: What are the steps to going from broke to respectful with my money?  

Women in Business: Work Backwards Formula to Achieve Bold Money Goals

Now that you’ve set your Bold Money Goal for 2012 and have it in writing (see previous blog: Set a Bold Financial Goal for 2012 http://coachingmodesto.squarespace.com/blog/  you'll want to use The Work Backwards Formula to make sure you get the results you want.

To Re-Set your Money Speedometer, which may have been stuck on the same old number for too long, means you have to examine WHY you want to make the amount of money you set for yourself. Your WHY tells you what your motivation is. (To know why your WHY is the most important thing you can do as a woman in business go to this youtube clip in the TedSeries by Simon Sinek:  The Golden Circle http://blog.ted.com/2010/05/04/how_great_leade/

Now, I know the economy has dampened, or for some, even smashed the ability to dream and envision. But we have to take our power back and stay focused on what we want (financial peace & freedom) vs. what we don't want (more financial struggle)  

To Start - Here are some questions to explore your WHY: This is where you get to dream and in order to be the most successful you must stay in touch with your dream and your purpose!!

Next, write down your BOLD Goal for 2012 :  $75,000 Gross

I want to make $_______ so that I can ________.

• ·      
• ·      
• ·      

 The questions you answered above are part of your vision and dream that will pull you towards your goal.

Now fill in these Work Backwards questions:

1)    How much do you charge your clients? The average bodyworker, for example, depending on locale, charges somewhere in the neighborhood of:   $75.00 an hour  Your hourly fee:  _________

2)    How much do you need to earn a month to earn $75K a year? $6,250 (75 divided by 12 = )

3)    How much do you need to earn a week to earn $75 K a year? $1445.00  (6,250 divided by 4.33 = 1436. Rounded up)

4)    How many clients a week do you need to see to earn $1445?  19 clients a week at $75.00 a client = $75,000 Gross Income

Now you have your work-backwards formula to earn $75,000 gross a year.  

Women - Put Your Big Girl Money Pants On!

Do you stick your head in the sand when it comes to your money problems? It's a common tendency. We think we can make something go away if we don't think about it. This is magical thinking which is how children operate. It's sad to say that sometimes we grown ups are so afraid of our financial circumstanceswe treat our money like a child would.  I get it - I have been there done that. But, it's time to put your big girl money pants on and look at exactly what's happening with your financial situation.

First, face the fact that your money problems will not get any better until you start dealing with them. Second, look at exactly what your bills are and your income. Then define your options. For example, a woman I spoke with this week has overwhelming credit card debt - not unusual these days.  I advised her to see a bankruptcy attorney to get advice about whether filing is in her best interest.  Another women I spoke with is just barely putting food on the table and she has teenagers that want new clothes. Understandable, but.... Teenagers can be part of their own solution. Don't give them all the gory financial details but let them know there isn't money for extras and if they want new clothes they can babysit, (I printed out flyers and distributed them in my neighborhood when I was 15), or yes, even work at a fast food restaurant. 

Women are smart, creative and full of incredible potential. If you know of a woman that's really good with her money, ask her to give you some mentoring help or support. Read to increase your awareness about how you feel about money, what your behavior patterns and beliefs are that support or limit you, and to know how to manage your money. Books I recommend include Suze Orman's Women & Money, Lynne Twist's, The Soul of Money, Deborah Price's Money Magic and Chellie Campbell's The Wealthy Spirit.  We women have got to take care of ourselves and taking control of our money is an important way to put those big girl pants on!!

Unfinished Money Business: If Nothing Changes, Nothing Changes

If you struggle with money problems you're not alone. Don't just blame yourself, your spouse or your parents though, do something proactive. Because if you don't, you'll find yourself in the same place in a year or 5 or 10. If you're having the same issues with money you've been having for years it's time to look within. What do I mean by that? "Inner work" consists of taking the time to be introspective, ask yourself questions and listen for the answers. The old saying, "All the answers lie inside you," means that in order to access your inner wisdom you'll need  to give yourself time to explore. There is no right or wrong way to do so. Here are some suggestions to get you started.

Unfinished money business are the patterns, habits and convictions that get in the way of our financial health and well-being. We all want to have financial peace of mind, but we don't necessarily know how to get there. As a therapist and Certified Money Coach who struggled with money for years with my own money issues I love sharing what's helped me to develop a healthier relationship with money.

"The Apple Tree Exercise"  (From Mind Over Matter by Brad & Ted Klontz). Bring to mind an image of your mother or most important mother figure. On a piece of paper list 3 or more adjectives that describe your mother's behaviors around money: generous, impulsive, stingy, for example. Then list 3 or more things you can remember hearing her say about money and how it worked: "Nothing's too good for you," It's only money," etc. Write any beliefs she had about money. As you think about her background and money beliefs see if you can pull out the "money scripts" she lived by. For example:  "Money can be used to show love and to exert control." "Money's less important than having fun and enjoying life."  Do the same for your father or father figures.

Then go back to the adjectives that describe your mother/father and circle any words or phrases you believe are true about you. If you're up for it, ask someone that knows you well to check the lists and words circled for feedback.  As you can imagine, this "Apple Tree" exercise is designed to help you see how your money beliefs, patterns or habits didn't necessarily fall far from the parental tree. As you gain true inner awareness of your relationship with money when you make changes such as starting a retirement account, developing an emergency savings account, these behavior changes will "stick" better.