Money Stress: # 1 Source of Stress for 75% of Americans

True or False - The #1 source of stress for 80% of Americans is money?

True. I talk to people every week in the Central Valley of California that are losing their  homes, are upside down with their mortgages, have been "downsized,"  lost their jobs, filed bankruptcy and are in desperate financial struggle. Many are blaming themselves for their financial problems and feel guilty and ashamed as if it's all their fault.  That's not the whole picture.

While it's true we are ultimately responsible for the good and bad choices we make about money, it's also true that it's hard to make good decisions about money when we get bad information or are poorly trained in money matters.  We Americans should be paying attention to the fact that the financial institutions have made a LOT of money in the last couple of years. We need to hold ourselves AND these institutions accountable.

2 Keys to Creating a Healthier Money Relationship:

1) Raise Your Money Consciousness and assess where you're at by asking these questions:

* Do you avoid the topic of $$ or obsess about it or alternate between the two extremes?

* Can you talk about $$ with your partner?  If not, what's uncomfortable?

* What's your greatest fear about money?

2) Finish Your Unfinished $$ Business:

When I was a girl I asked my Dad something about my parents finances and he told me it was none of my "blankety, blank business."  That told me money was a scary subject and better left alone.  It took me a long time to discover that memory and to realize that avoiding the topic of money made things worse.

Think about and journal:  What's my earliest money memory? What's my greatest money fear? How do these positive or negative memories show themselves in my life today?

As we individually work to heal our relationship with money, hold ourselves and our financial institutions accountable, we will shift from being so STRESSED about money and be more confident with our $$ decisions.

Is Food A Drug Like Cocaine?

Anyone feel addicted to ice cream, chocolate, pasta, cheeseburgers or pizza? Is it possible to get high from food? Lke a drug addict gets a high from her drug of choice? Yes, some people can.

If you have a craving for a particular food, let's say a chocolate malt,  first you anticipate the malt - craving sets in - and then you  finally get it, ah.... do you feel satisfied?

Well, there's craving (like mine, sort of wimpy - once a year I HAVE to have a chocolate malt) and then there's CRAVING. But the important thing is, what happens after the woman tastes the milk shake?

Those that scored high on a food-addiction scale had much less "reward" activity in the brain than other women. That's a set up for addiction. The cravings are intense, the reward not as good as anticipated. Better have more - that'll do it. The other downside for the women with this high craving/low reward response tends to be low impulse control. You see how this works, right?

It seems that ice cream and other high-calorie foods create a similar affect in the brain to cocaine, for some people.  Women's brain being scanned by an MRI,  who have an addictive relationship to food, meaning they often eat more than they planned or feel out of control, showed the same kind of activity of that of a cocaine addict.

Researchers asked women a 25-item questionnaire with questions like these: "I find myself continuing to consume certain foods even tho I am no longer hungry," When certain foods are not available, I will go out of my way to obtain them." (How do you respond to these questions?)

What to do? Notice that all the addictive foods mentioned above have high carb/sugar components. These foods convert into sugar quickly in the body - that's the high feeling that feeds addiction. Natural foods like vegetables, whole grains, some fruits convert sugars more slowly and the energy from them lasts longer. Sorry, no high, but sustained and balanced energy, which over times begins to feel much better than the ups and downs of carbs. Be patient, it takes time.

If you'd like to read the  full story Addiction to food, drugs similar in the brain http://tinyurl.com/3k53gfk .

HCG Diet Addiction - People are Dumber Than Rats

“People are dumber than rats,” my friend Marianne said.

“What do you mean?” I asked. She was referring to the experimental rats that go through a maze once and, when they don’t get food, change directions or stop. Not so for people. They start out with a pattern – their first diet - that can turn into a habit – every January or spring “gotta take that 10 pounds off” – that grows into an addiction -  “Oh this time this new diet is gonna work – I just know it.” When the weight is regained, as it is by over 90%, feelings of failure and guilt prevail.

Having worked with women with weight concerns for 15 years I’ve seen many diet fads come and go.  The current diet craze diet is the HCG. HCG stands for Human Chorionic Gonadotropin. HCG is the hormone that indicates a woman is pregnant. The theory is that taking the hormone stops hunger. This is a crazy diet because it requires you to eat 500 – 800 calories a day and get hormone injections, or take homeopathic hormone drops. ALERT: Anyone eating 500 calories a day WILL lose weight!! Temporarily!  The concentration camp survivors were kept on a 900 calorie a day diet.

Here’s WHY stringent, quick loss diets are a bad idea. When you’re dieting the body goes into starvation. In starvation you obsess about food and often “cheat” by breaking out of jail. Once you start eating normally again, guess what? The body holds onto every calorie it can and the end result is more weight gain.

Dieting addicts want a quick-fix and they want it now. I’m sorry but forget it! This delusion makes a LOT of $$ for people pushing these diets! For the best long-term weight loss results develop a realistic weight goal (1-2 lbs. a week works for many). Have a food plan that is slow and steady and one you can live with. It’s not healthy to live on 500 calories a day or yo-yo with your weight.

I recommend attending Weight Watchers, or check out The Blood Type Diet – a very sane eating plan. To lose and keep weight off requires you to stay conscious of what you’re eating (and why), deal with stress and anxiety (for free stress relief go to www.lynntelfordsahl.com and register for 7 ½ Tips register). And, you must develop an exercise program.  Break the diet addiction habit and lose the weight you desire. You can do it!!

Dieting is Like Jail: Break out Forever

Personal Note

Money, Money, Money –

As the Health, WEALTH, & Happiness Coach, I’ve long been fascinated by the subject of money. Money is a loaded subject for most of us. We avoid it, deny its limitations, treat it as if it’s a King or a snake hiding in the closet. But at it’s core, money is neutral energy. However, we attach plenty of stuff to making it, having it and keeping it. I avoided and ran from dealing with my $$ issues for years. But in the last ten years I’ve consciously changed my relationship to money.

I’m excited to announce that I’m in the process of becoming a Certified Money Coach under International Money Coach Deborah Price and author of Money Magic. This work is transformative.

Starting in May I’ll offer a 3 part series to shift your Money Consciousness. Watch for upcoming announcements. For now see below:

FREE FUN OFFER: Money QUIZ: Take a fun, short quiz that I will go over with you in a personal 15 minute session. The Money Quiz helps you determine which of the Money Typesare operating in your life. “We may be successful in many areas of life, but money decisions, changes or crises…” (Deborah Price) push our money buttons. When we understand the underlying drivers around our relationship to $$ better we’re able to make new more empowered decisions. Call Lynn (209) 492-8745 or email at lynntelfordsahl@gmail with Money Quiz in subject line.

Feature Article

Dieting is Like Jail – 5 Tips to Guarantee Weight Loss Success!!

I worked with women weight concerns for 13 years and there there’s no quick fix solution no matter what the current diet fad promises. Weight loss and maintenance require steady, persistent focus and action. You can do it – here’s what I suggest for long-term success!! 

1) Stay Conscious – It’s TRUE. 95% of those that lose weight gain it back. Why? Because you can’t stay in jail forever and most diets are like jail. I’m sorry to tell you but There’s No Magic Wand to Lose Weight. However, with persistence and patience, a healthy food and exercise plan you can do it.

Everyone jumps on the lose weight bandwagon. One popular (and kind of crazy diet) right now is the HCG diet. It requires you to eat 500 calories a day and get hormone injections. ALERT: Anyone eating 500 calories a day WILL lose weight!! (The concentration camp survivors were kept on a 900 calorie a day diet.)

Here’s WHY stringent, quick loss diets are a bad idea. When you’re dieting the body goes into starvation. Then when you start eating normally again, guess what? The body holds onto every calorie it can and the end result is more weight gain.

To lose and keep weight off requires you to stay conscious of what you’re eating (and why) and you must have an exercise program or you’re likely to gain weight as you age.

That’s it. 

2) Join a Support Group: I think the best is Weight Watchers. For inexpensive, long-term support you can’t beat it. WW helps you stay accountable. They have good recipes and handy point systems and you can have fun food once in awhile. (Let’s remember food is supposed to fuel our body and be pleasurable). When you have to get on the scale once a week at a meeting, it’s hard to be in denial about what you’ve been eating. Weight Watchers also has on-line support if it’s difficult to get to a meeting every week.

3) EXERCISE: Find what works for you and commit to it for 60 days. This is where, if you can afford it, hiring a personal trainer is really going to keep youmotivated. I recommend Sonya Gonzalez (209) 380-5225. Exercise raises the metabolism, energizes, relieves stress and allows you to eat more than if you weren’t exercising.

4) Accountability Partner: CHANGE is Uncomfortable. To go from not exercising or paying attention to what you eat isn’t easy. Commit to 60 days and have an accountability partner – a friend, a personal trainer, your spouse, a COACH. As the Health, Wealth & Happiness Coach I have many women clients that include weight as part of their overall plan.

5) Commit to the Long Term: Twelve step programs remind participants to take it a day at a time. Ask yourself: Can I stick with my food & exercise plan today? If I’m feeling wobbly who can I call to help me stay on track? I have clients email me the first few weeks when they’ve gone to the gym. Really supports the conscious accountability factor.

If you have found this article helpful, please forward it onto others.

Upcoming Events

St. Joseph’s Regional Cancer Center – Know Your Mind, Body & Spirit series

When: Tuesday, February 22, 6:30 – 8:30

Where: 1800 north california street, stockton

Call: 209 461-6889

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Can’t Control Facebook Time? Get an App!

Are you addicted to Facebook? Do you lose all sense of time as you update your status, check for new friends, play “farm”? Is texting or using your Smart Phone creating near misses on the highway as your attention drifts with your fingers? Do you have a teen you want to make sure isn’t using and driving?

Well now there are apps to control those addictive urges. Thank goodness because we’re not doing such a great job ourselves. Brain research shows that whatever behavior we do repetitively gets wired into our brain – “what’s wired together stays together,” states Rick Hanson, author of The Buddha's Brain. Two chemicals produced in the brain, dopamine and serotonin, work together like this:  Dopamine sends the message “Gotta have it – go get it.” And, serotonin is the “Got it,” receiver.

The problem with doing an addictive activity is that we always want what? More! Advertisers love to encourage our cravings. Remember Lays Potato Chips – Bet you can’t eat just one!

Here’s why we can get into trouble with our urges before we’re aware there’s a problem. When serotonin levels are low, anything associated with food, danger, or sex causes dopamine to push us to go after it says Richard O’Connor, Ph.D, author of  Undoing Perpetual Stress says. Guess what time of day serotonin is lowest? The afternoon – ah…look out sugar and caffeine.

I call these usually moderate addictive impulses “lite” addictions. They are defined as “quick fix habits that temporarily soothe or distract from the stress, anxiety and strain of modern life.” (Free 1^st chapter download of Intentional JOY: How to Turn Stress, Fear & Addiction into Freedom www.lynntelfordsahl.com) (Carrie not sure if this should go here?)

If you’re stressed or anxious and avoiding dealing with things by losing yourself and wasting precious time (which you then feel guilty about – classic addictive feeling) them try Fred Stutzman’s Internet-blocking program called Anti-Social. Anti-Social shuts off access to FB, Linked In, etc. Or try Freedom that blocks the Internet for up to 8 hours.

If you’d like a low-tech solution to "lite addictions" download my FREE  7 ½ Tips to Turn Stress into JOY and practice mindfully dealing with stress and anxiety – www.lynntelfordsahl.com

No on 19 - Pot is Not a Nothing Drug

As a young adult, I smoked pot for a year straight every morning and afternoon. It was the most unproductive, sleepy and lost year of my life. According to the American Council for Drug Education (www.acde.org) THC levels in 1974 was less than 1%. Today THC levels run from an average of 7-9% up to 37% depending on quality and type.

I’ve always argued that pot is not a “nothing” drug. Just a few of the symptoms of frequent use include problems with learning, attention, memory and motivation. I’m particularly concerned about teens getting the message that pot is safer to try if Prop 19 passes. I know if pot was legal when I was a kid, I would have tried it earlier than I did.

When a teen or young adult comes to my counseling office and tells me pot is not a problem for them, (and they’re there because it’s a problem for their parents, their grades, or the law) I show them Dr. Daniel Amen’s SPECT images (Nuclear brain imaging) of the brain of pot users (www.amenclinics.com). It’s particularly startling to see the smooth, wavy surface of a normal brain compared to the lumpy, holed filled surface of a regular marijuana users brain.

To the point that marijuana isn’t addictive like other drugs – that’s just wrong information. A definition of addiction is whether a substance (or behavior) causes tolerance, dependence or withdrawal. Marijuana, like alcohol or meth, can certainly cause all three. Tolerance means it takes more and more to get the same high. Dependence, according to the DSM-IV, is when an individual persists in the use of alcohol or other drugs despite problems related to use. (Problems with family, job or school, or health) Withdrawal produces uncomfortable symptoms such as nausea, anxiety, restlessness or insomnia, when use is stopped.

I’m not against pot as a recreational substance to be used in moderation, much like a glass of wine. Bill Manville, author of "Cool, Hip & Sober," asks “Why keep pot illegal? Didn't we learn anything from  Prohibition?" I get the argument and I would be much more open to voting Yes on 19 if there was a provision that funneled an appropriate percentage, or any percentage of revenue, to education and treatment. I think it’s wrong to put people in prison for substance abuse issues. It’s also ineffective, costly and a waste of human potential. But as written, I can’t support this Proposition and I hope we’re all remembering the promises of how much money education was going to receive from the gambling propositions that passed a few years ago. Hmm….

Facebook Face Off At The Gallo Park

I’m going to rant a bit but first let me set the scene.

My husband, Dave and friends Dewey and Tammie, were all settled in with our blanket and chairs on a grassy knoll in front of the stage for the Gallo “Pops in the Park” event in Modesto, CA.

Mike Kavanaugh, from New York, was getting ready to perform his Elton John series. We were  relaxed and excited about the performance.

The music started and on the blanket next to us a 13-ish year old boy opened his lap-top (not a Iphone), a big lap-top, and starts Facebooking.  Now how do I know he was on FB?  Because the screen is right in my line of vision to the stage! 

 

I started fuming. Then I tried to ignore the screen, but it’s dusk and of course the screen is even more visible. Every minute that ticks by I’m more annoyed, but trying to be polite. Then finally, I'd had it. His parents are watching the concert, oblivious. So, I stand up and speak to the dad, “I think it’s really inappropriate to have a lap-top going when the concert is on. We’re just trying to enjoy the concert.” He says, “So, enjoy the concert.”  I reply, “That’s my point – I can’t – the laptop is right in my sight – it’s very distracting. We have so much technology around us all the time, isn’t it nice to take a break from it?”

Dad ignored me, but Mom intervened and asked their son to move to the other side of the blanket. Great, I now couldn’t see the screen and I guess if it bothered someone else they could speak up. My band of friends gave me the thumbs up, but the whole thing left a bad taste in my mouth.

Here we are in a beautiful, outdoor setting and this young man wasn’t alone with his attachment or should I say addiction to technology.  He just happened to be the only one I saw with a lap-top. There was plenty of texting going on during the concert – and again I wonder – why can’t you  just be where you are – enjoying the people you’re with, smelling the air, feeling the grass, listening to the music?  I don’t get it. But I am curious, what do you think the boundaries of technology should be? Would you have said something to these parents? Would you allow your child to have his/her computer on during a concert?  Let me know. Rant over.

Eat, Pray, Love - Pleasure Vs. Entertainment

I am a movie buff and went to see Eat, Pray, Love with a couple of good friends Sunday. In the movie, “Liz,” played by Julia Roberts, goes to Italy to eat (a great past time). An Italian barber says to her, (I’m paraphrasing) “Americans know entertainment but they know nothing about pleasure. You work too much during the week, get burned out and lay around all weekend watching TV. That is not pleasure. You feel guilty, that you don’t deserve to have pleasure unless you have earned it. And, you don’t know how to be.”

How perfectly the barber captured why we Americans obsessively turn to “lite” addictions like the internet, Facebook, hours of TV, or 3 glasses of wine when one would be more satisfying if fully enjoyed. We’re trying to escape the stress and anxiety of so much to do, and we don’t treat the root cause – a growing sense of disconnection from ourselves and each other.

What’s the difference between entertainment and pleasure? Pleasure is defined by Webster’s as “a feeling of enjoyment or delight.” When I think of pleasure, I think of involvement – eating with friends, making love, gardening - not as a task to get done, but for the enjoyment of our hands in the dirt, smelling the air and the flowers.

“Lite” addictions temporarily distract us from the craziness of the demands of life, but is that enough? Take a few deep breaths, spend a few moments defining the pleasures of your life and how to create more time for “delight and enjyment.” I’m heading out to the backyard to my hammock.

Ah….

Try Amino Acids for Anxiety or Depression

No surprise many addicted folks are anxious, depressed or stressed and self-medicating with their drug or food of choice. I discovered I suffered from anxiety while giving a client an anxiety assessment. As I scored the clients responses, I mentally checked off and scored my own. Momentarily shocked, I realized the pit in my stomach that was so normal was anxiety based. (*For quiz & treatment see From Panic to Power by Lucinda Bassett)

I wanted natural, rather than pharmaceutical treatment for myself and clients and discovered the power of  amino acid supplementation for mild to moderate anxiety and depression. Amino acids are naturally occurring substances in the body that we (especially anyone with an addiction) can become deficient in. I love them because, unlike many prescription drugs, they do not have side effects other than a mild headache if the dosage is too high. If that occurs, drink lots of water and take Vitamin C to flush it quickly out of system. Amino acids are best taken on a empty stomach. They are available at health food stores. If you’re a health care practitioner you may purchase them wholesale through Infinity Health (800) 733-9293.

Here are my top 3 suggestions:

GABA: Take if anxious or stressed. (*See Julia Ross’s Mood Cure or Diet Cure books)

Recommended dosage one 500 mg. capsule on empty stomach. (Can take 2 or 3X a day or at night if having trouble getting to, or staying asleep.)

5 HTP : For  mild to moderate anxiety or depression. Helps sleep and can lessen addictive cravings. Improves serotonin functioning in brain. (Important: Do not take if currently using an anti-depressant.)

Recommended Dosage: One-three 50 mg. capsules on empty stomach during afternoon or at bedtime. (Try 1 capsule first) (See Julia Ross’s Mood Cure or Diet Cure books)

P.S. Very helpful for the 3:00 - 5:00 p.m.  low-energy dip or if you have afternoon sugar or carb cravings. Serotonin levels are lowest in the late afternoon which is why cravings get more intense then.

L-Theanine: Amino acid found in green tea.

Supports mental calmness, focus and relaxation. Dr. John Gray suggests 200-400 mg 2-3X a day, as needed. He says taken at bedtime it melts away stress.

RESOURCES

Dr. Gray: Just released Venus on Fire, Mars on Ice)

Julia Ross: The Mood Cure or The Diet Cure

(* Disclaimer: I am not a doctor and am not prescribing any supplementation. Please take responsibility and be an informed consumer. Do your own research – see resources above)

Fat or Skinny: No One Appreciates Weight Comments

I was at the health food store recently and bumped into an acquaintance who said, “You’re so thin, are you ok?” I gritted my teeth to hold back a flash of anger, then said as nicely as I could, “I don’t really like my weight being commented on.”  She looked a little shocked. A friend of mind behind the counter piped in and said, “People used to tell me I was too thin and I hated it.” Ah…support. I asked the woman who’d made the comment if she would have said anything about my weight if I’d looked like I’d gained. She said probably not.

What’s my complaint?  As a naturally slender woman I feel both guilty about being so and judged for being “too” thin. Isn’t it interesting that in our culture no woman’s body type is really ok. If a woman has a perfectly shaped body and gets lots of male attention, other women are often jealous and reject her. I’ve heard more than one woman struggling with her weight say, “I got to my perfect weight, but wasn’t comfortable with all the attention I got so I regained.”

We women focus so much time, energy and $$ on trying to deal with, manage and perfect our bodies. Think about this:  How wonderful could our lives be and how much could we make the world a better place if women took 25% of that “waisted” energy and power and re-focused it on more important priorities? As Geneen Roth says, for most women being in the weight struggle becomes comfortable. To let go of the struggle can feel very UNcomfortable, but eventually we can get used to peace and happiness by practicing acceptance that rather than stress and struggle. And, please, if you have an opinion about somebody’s weight – keep it to yourself.